Ephesians 4:25 - 5:2
I think it all began with that TV show called Survivor. Maybe there were one or two similar shows before it came along, but it was Survivor that brought reality TV into the mainstream. And television watching hasn’t been the same ever since. Very rarely does an evening go by that there isn’t at least one of those reality TV shows, each one with its own unique spin. I checked the networks for something to watch one night, and three of the major networks were all running a reality show. One station had a show called Paradise Hotel, the next had a show that was bringing together members of an extended family to see how they could get along for a prolonged time in the same house. The third had a show called “Big Brother”, another one with the theme of seeing how a group of unique people could live together under one roof under the watchful eye of “Big Brother.” I think the Big Brother show had thrown together several ex-spouses just to make things interesting. You must know, I didn’t watch any of these shows, so I can’t really say much about their plot lines. However, somebody must be watching them. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be so many of them.
I think that what draws the audiences is the prospect of conflict. We like the juicy stuff. Put a bunch of folk into a community setting on a reality show…and it doesn’t take long for the gossip and the back stabbing and the lying to start to emerge and things begin to get ugly. Especially when there is a prize of $1,000,000 involved. Reality TV…
I couldn’t help but think of the reality shows when I read today’s scripture. Imagine for a moment a reality show where the contestants show up and the moderator says, “Okay, folks, here are the rules.” And he gives them these lines from Ephesians. “Put away falsehood, speak the truth to your neighbors, be angry but do not sin; don’t go to sleep angry, let no evil talk come from your mouths, put away bitterness and wrath and anger and slander and malice.” It would be kind of interesting…challenging…for a community to come together and try to live under those kinds of rules. Unfortunately, if it worked, the show would probably be yanked. Nobody would watch if all you see is the contestants being nice to each other.
Now these rules might not be the rules for a reality TV show, but they are the basic guidelines for another reality. A far more important reality, a far more real reality than any reality TV show. These guidelines are laid out here by Paul as basic guidelines for living together in the real community called the church.
We’ve been studying about being the church now for a couple of weeks. We’ve heard Paul say to put away the walls and divisions that separate you. We’ve heard a call to a unity that overcomes our differences, our unique-nesses. Last week we talked about sticking together…Using our gifts and our interpersonal relations to bind us as a community in Christ.
And now, Paul takes it a step farther. After laying the groundwork, he begins a new section of his letter. This section lays out some basic rules, basic guidelines for living together as a community. If you are going to be the church, this united body of Christ, if this is truly going to be a reality in the world, here are some ways you need to act, some ways you need to live together.
This could be new ground for these Ephesians. They have for the most part been non-Jews, even pagans, who have decided to follow Christ. For them there is a new reality…a new community…different from what they have been a part of in the past. So Paul has to lay out the rules for living in the new reality. It might not make for exciting reality television, but it sure makes for a stronger Christian community. And the guidelines are just as relevant today as they were in Paul’s time.
Now, we could go step by step through these verses and talk about each point…don’t steal, don’t slander, and so on and so forth. But I think that all of these specific points can be summed up in three broader ideas that stand out in the passage. And maybe even these three are just three ways of saying the same thing. Listen, and see what you think.
First of all, Paul talks about how members of this new reality community are to talk to each other. Let your words build up instead of tearing down, “So that your words may give grace to those who hear.” “Let your words give grace to those who hear.” That is powerful. You and I are called upon here to let our words be instruments of grace. How often does that really happen? How often are our words instruments of grace?
We can push that even a little bit further. In our church, we believe that there are two sacraments that we act out in our worship. These sacraments are Baptism and Holy Communion. Now, by definition, sacraments are very sacred acts that we believe somehow convey God’s grace. When a baby is baptized, when Holy Communion is served, God’s grace is being shared and experienced.
When Paul tells us to let our words give grace to those who hear, is he calling us to consider our words as sacraments…signs of grace, acts of grace… Speak, “so that your words may give grace to those who hear.” That guideline covers a lot of territory in how we interact and communicate as disciples of Jesus Christ. It truly would be a new reality if we strive to speak so that every word out of our mouths conveys a bit of Christ’s grace. Sacramental speaking…
Rev. James Moore is a well known UM preacher down in Texas. His congregation is huge, with services that are broadcast on television each week. Moore confesses to an instance when he almost forgot to let his words be instruments of grace. He says it had been a hectic day. He had missed both breakfast and lunch and he was starving. In the fifteen minutes he had between commitments, he ducked into a little carryout sandwich shop to grab a sandwich to eat in his car on the way. The lady in the shop turned out to be, as Moore called her, “the slowest sandwich maker west of the Mississippi.” He says, “I ordered a turkey sandwich. This little lady started creating my sandwich. She would pick up a piece of bread and then look at me and smile and nod. I would smile and nod back. Then, she slowly began to spread mayonnaise on the bread. She worked with that sandwich so slowly and the clock was ticking. I began to get nervous. I started pacing. I cleared my throat loudly. I looked at my watch dramatically and impatiently! She would not hurry. She would only smile and nod.”
“Finally my patience wore thin and I decided: I can’t wait any longer. I’ll be late. So I raised my hand to wave to her and to tell her, ‘Just forget the sandwich. I have to go.’ And you can be sure that he wasn’t planning to speak his words as words of grace. But he never got to say those graceless words because just then the woman said, “Can I ask you a question. You’re Jim Moore, aren’t you. The minister at St. Lukes? I can’t believe this,” she said. “My husband will be so thrilled you were here. You see, my husband had a stroke about a year ago and the highlight of his week is Sunday morning when your church comes on TV.”
Moore says, “Then she did something I’ll never forget…something that rocked me to the depths of my soul. She reached over and pulled a napkin out of the napkin dispenser and said, “Would you please sign this napkin, so I can show my husband that you came into my shop today?” I pulled out one of my cards…and with a great sense of shame and embarrassment, wrote her husband a quick note. As I handed the note to her she said, “By the way, were you about to say something to me a moment ago?”
“And I said: I was about to say, you sure do make a fine turkey sandwich!”
Let your words “give grace to those who hear.”
The second broad guideline here in this passage is in verse 32 and it is pretty much like the first. Paul says “Be kind to one another.” Pretty simple. Straightforward. Be kind to one another.
But I discovered something when I was preparing for this sermon. I came across the Greek word for kind in one of my Bibles. You see, it turns out that the writer of Ephesians is making a play on words here…a pun. Now I love puns and word play, so it caught my attention to discover that Paul was making a play on words. The Greek word for kind is Chrestoi. Now get this…the Greek word for Christ is Christos. Just 2 letters different. Paul says, “Be Chrestoi to each other.”
On one level, he is saying be kind to one another. But at another level, he is saying, “Be Christ to one another.” “Be Chrestoi…Christos…Christ to each other.” Let your words be sacraments of grace…be Christ to each other…that might make for a very interesting reality show. It certainly should make a big difference in the reality of the church if we follow these two guidelines.
There’s a third guideline here at the beginning of chapter 5. Again, maybe it’s not so different from number one and number two. Maybe it summarizes them both. Here at the beginning of chapter five, Paul writes, “Therefore, be imitators of God, as Christ loved us, and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” Be imitators of God. It might not make for good reality TV, but it makes for great discipleship. Let your words convey grace, be Christ to each other, be imitators of God.
A taxi driver in the big city tried to live that way. It was late one August night when he responded to a call from a small brick fourplex in the quiet part of town. It was 2:30 a.m. and he assumed he was being sent to pick up some partiers or someone who had just had a fight with a lover or a factory worker on the early shift.
He arrived and found the building dark except for a single light in the ground floor window. Many drivers would honk once or twice and then drive away. But this driver knew there were many impoverished persons and others who needed assistance, so he got out of the cab and went up and knocked on the door.
“Just a minute,” answered a frail elderly voice. There was the sound of something being dragged across the floor and then, after a long pause, the door opened. There was a small woman in her 80s wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat and veil, like someone out of a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. The furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.
“Would you carry my bag out to the car?” The cabbie took the suitcase to the car and then returned for the woman. She took an arm and they walked slowly to the curb. She kept thanking him so he said, “I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated.”
She gave an address then asked, “Can you drive through downtown?”
The cabbie said, “It’s not the shortest way.”
“Oh, I don’t mind,” she said. “I’m in no hurry. I’m on my way to a hospice.”
The cabbie looked in the rearview mirror. Her eyes were glistening. “I don’t have any family left. The doctor says I don’t have very long.” The cabbie quietly reached over and shut off the meter. He asked, “What route would you like me to take?” He says, “For the next two hours we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she’d ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing. As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, “I’m tired. Let’s go now.”
We drove in silence to the address she had given me. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.
“How much do I owe you?” she asked, reaching into her purse.
“Nothing,” I said.
“You have to make a living,” she answered.
“There are other passengers,” I responded.
Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly. “You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,” she said. “Thank you.”
I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life. I didn’t pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly, lost in thought. For the rest of the day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once , then driven away. On a quick review, I don’t think that I have done anything more important in my life. (From “Make Me an Instrument of Your Peace: Living in the Spirit of the Prayer of St. Francis,” Copyright, Kent Nerburn, ISBN 0-06-251581-0.)
Let your words be sacraments of grace to those who hear…
Be Christ to one another… Be imitators of God…